Wedding planning has been awesome up to this point. So fun to find the DJ, pick the colors, find the dress and start to get all the little details sorted out. We even went looking at tux’s for the guys yesterday. So fun! But the dreams have started.
The anxiety ridden dreams. Like when I worked at a restaurant and I had the dreams of getting sat 6 tables at the same time and forgetting what they all ordered. Like when I was in school and I forgot where my classes were or didn’t show up for a test I had forgotten to study for. Like my attending a fancy party but falling into a pit of mud on my way. I fall into a lot of mud in my dreams. This is why I know that I need to start breathing and figure out some stuff in order to avoid having more of these dreams. I’ve already had a few wedding related ones. I wake up in sweats.
My organization is pretty solid for the wedding. I have an Excel file with guests names and addresses. I have successfully sent out the Save the Date cards. I guess my fear right now….is that I under estimated. I have sent out more cards than I thought I was going to. My catering manager quoted me at a number that I thought I’d be able to hit, but now…I think I may be over. The worst part, is that I wont really know where I’m at until the RSVP’s start coming in….and that happens AFTER the invites go out, which is in a few months. Sacrifices on things that I had wanted at my wedding may have to be made.
I’m in a state of needing to please, and I’m in a state of sheer terror that things will be forgotten and that I will forget something major. I need to keep a list of things that have to get done in the next 5 months. I need to tier them out according to a time line. I’m getting freaked out every time I log into The Knot and the tell me how many days till my wedding. I obviously don’t need to write the menus until I know what we are eating. I don’t need to do table assignments until I know who is coming. The last few months will be filled with to-do’s. Who is in charge of making sure everything gets done the day of the wedding? I obviously will be getting pampered and dressed. Is someone that I invited going to take that role? These are all my nerves talking right now. I need to throw a good party. I want everyone to be happy. But I definitely want to make sure that I continue to have fun in this process and make the day about us….no one else.